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Life is a Half Baked Cake

Life is a Half Baked Cake

The title of my blog, Life is a Half Baked Cake, almost as fierce as A Song of Ice and Fire, was specifically chosen, because, I love to bake and everything should be covered in chocolate, but, this title goes back five years. After I dropped out of my university in Long Island, moved back to my parents house in Santa Rosa, CA, and was forced to pick up my old high school job (a train conductor for a children’s park), its safe to say that I was introduced to a little friend I like to call Depression.

I tried to be brave and face my enemy square in the face, I like to think of myself as Gandalf on the bridge facing that monster and saying in my loud thunderous voice, “YOU SHALL NOT PAAASSS”. I digress. Even though I was a drop out, I was not going to drop out, I applied to all of my dream schools, I thought GO BIG OR GO HOME, and since I was already home, how could I possibly lose.

One after another, the rejection letters came through. I tried to stay calm, everyone has a path, and I was taking longer to find mine. I had one last school to hear from, and I was going to remain chipper. I was home alone for a weekend and decided to splurge and make myself this gourmet chocolate cake, it was a recipe I had been staring at for quite some time. I put the little guy in the oven and went out to check the mail. Which is where I found the letter. The last letter. I opened it. I read it. I read it again. And again. And again. Rejected. (For anyone who has seen Flight of the Conchords, now is a good time to think of Murray singing Rejected (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up)) I went back inside, and pulled out the worse cake created. It was a ball of mesh. And as that ball of mesh fell out of the pan, the tears fell from my eyes.

I wanted to start here for a few reasons, 1. I had the worse stomachache from all of that batter, and I regret nothing, 2. Life is once again giving me numerous amounts of rejection letters as a college graduate (Yes, I did go to college, after all.), and 3. I don’t know how to go about life. I’m lost. This past weekend, I have been turned down by many jobs, ones that I hated and ones that I loved, no agency will contact me no matter how many times I reach out, I was stood up on a date, and I had to watch Hodor die on this weeks episode of Game of Thrones. My heart has been ripped out, my emotion drained, and I have another stomach ache cause I ate too much chocolate.

I am not writing this blog for pity. I am simply saying, this is my life right now. I am a half baked cake. It’s come a full circle, which is not a bad thing. I’m stuck, and I am beginning to write because I am trying to search this world for an answer, and I like to talk. And no one will interrupt me here. Alright, world! Here I am! Mari (Mah-Dee) Assad (Uh-sawd)(Yes, it’s Arab, no I’m not a terrorist), and I am failing in my twenties! WOOOOHOOOO!

And can someone please tell me how Hannah Horvath is able to juggle three men, and I can’t find one man to pretend to be my boyfriend for one night so my mom will stop sending me self help books. That would be great!

******Lena Dunham, you are my hero and I hope you read this and become my friend one day. Amy Schumer, Gina Rodriguez, and Mindy Kahling this invitation is extended to you as well.

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